What Teens Wish Parents Knew About Leading (and Being Led)

By Jackie Mourot, Ed.D.

Host of The Business of Parenting Podcast

What does it really look like to lead your family—and not just manage it? That’s the question at the heart of The Business of Parenting. But in our newest Table Talk episode, I wanted to turn the mic around.

This time, I invited a very special guest: my 14-year-old son, Timotei.

Together, we sat down for an honest conversation about what it feels like to be led at home as a teen—and what parents might not realize about how their leadership is received. It was real, unscripted, and deeply insightful. In this blog post, I’m pulling out a few powerful takeaways from that conversation—two sides of the same table, if you will.

1. Teens Want More Freedom—But Also Understand Trust Is Earned

Timotei opened with a big one: teens crave more freedom, but they also understand that freedom is a privilege, not a right. What they’re hoping for is trust—and sometimes, more than one chance to earn it.

From curfews and friend hangouts to phone restrictions, these everyday boundaries are all opportunities for teens to feel respected and trusted. But they also know that earning that trust means showing responsibility. It’s a two-way street.

From the parent perspective: I shared that we, too, are navigating this for the first time. There’s no manual for parenting teens—just as there’s no manual for being a teen. Trust goes both ways. We can show we’re trustworthy by being consistent, following through on what we say, and modeling the behaviors we ask of them.

🪑 Table Takeaway: Grace and trust have to flow in both directions. Teens are learning how to grow up. Parents are learning how to let go.

2. Teens Want to Be Heard—Not Just Handed Rules

One of Timotei’s biggest wishes? That parents would talk with their teens before handing down new rules or taking away privileges—especially when those changes come out of the blue.

What teens are asking for isn’t total control, but collaboration. They want to be part of the conversation, to understand the “why,” and maybe even suggest some tweaks. Not to take over the decision, but to feel like their voice matters.

From the parent seat: I shared how boundaries and structure are good for teens. They prepare kids for real life by building decision-making muscles in a safe space. But Timotei’s point was a great reminder: even well-intended rules land better when they come with explanation—and ideally, dialogue.

🪑 Table Takeaway: Leadership at home should include listening. Teens are more likely to buy into boundaries when they feel like co-creators, not just receivers.

3. Teens Have “Elephants in the Room” Too

Timotei made another important point: not everything teens want to talk about is a rule. Sometimes, it’s a feeling, a frustration, or a desire for more space—like privacy or alone time.

And here’s what surprised me: often, teens want to bring it to the table. Literally. Timotei suggested family dinner is a great time for check-ins, and that when kids raise concerns there, it usually means they want the whole family to hear it.

As a parent, I found this perspective so valuable. We often assume teens want to retreat to their rooms with headphones on. But sometimes, they just need a safe moment to say, “Here’s what’s been bothering me.”

🪑 Table Takeaway: Make space for regular check-ins—not just about rules, but about life. And when a teen speaks up, that doesn’t have to be about “rebellion”. It could be leadership in development.

4. Leadership Happens in the Fun Moments Too

Before we wrapped up, I shared one more thing I wish teens knew: we want to have fun with you. We love you. We like you.

In our family, from our “Silly Sleep Nights” (where the whole family camps out on the living room floor) to our “Very Important Kid” evenings (1:1 hangouts with each child), fun isn’t just about bonding—it’s about understanding who our kids are becoming.

🪑 Table Takeaway: Leading your family doesn’t always look like giving instructions. Sometimes it looks like movie night, pillow forts, or ice cream runs. That’s where connection—and influence—grows.

Want to Try a Table Talk at Home?

Here’s a simple starting point:

Ask each other two things you wish the other knew.

• Teens: What do you wish your parents understood about being led?

• Parents: What do you wish your kids understood about how you’re trying to lead?

  
  

Then, just listen. You might be surprised by what comes out on both sides of the table.

Coming Up Next…

🎧 New Series Alert! We’re kicking off a four-part podcast series called:

Lead the Way: A Series on Parenting with Influence

Starting with Part 1: The Foundation, we’ll explore why authority without relationship doesn’t work—and how to lead in a way your kids want to follow.

Subscribe to The Business of Parenting Podcast so you don’t miss it, and share it with a friend who’s ready to lead their family with more clarity and purpose.

💬 What about you?

What’s one thing you wish your child—or your parent—understood better? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.

✨ For more tools and inspiration, visit the Resources Page or book a 1:1 Double-Up Strategy Session if you’re a mom ready to lead with purpose.

Until next time—

Let’s love, inspire, enable, and empower our families—together.

Jackie M.